best random evil guy impression

Hello people! It's me, Random Evil Guy! Or at least someone who's trying really really hard to sound like him and feeling very bad. Oh god. Oh my throat. This can't be good for the throat. I get why you stopped doing him an idiot. Oh god. Anyway, now for the small subset of people who actually know who he is. Can you all drop your best impressions of him? I think I need a glass of water after this and maybe to stop speaking for a while because I don't want to get vocal damage. My throat is scratchy as fuck!

oh god okay I definitely need a water after this or I don't know anything honey hot water with honey or some shit yeah hiring myself a sore throat tomorrow I know I have a lisp it's a surgery deal with it

hello what's up it is me a random evil guy and I don't know what to say I just want to eat some chips and drink some pop I'm a bit rusty because I haven't watched the random evil guy videos so don't expect this impression to be very good mmm my god

considering my voice isn't that good I probably won't be able to do set impressions so um yeah I don't know

i hate pop and i hate drinking it so do chips too oh fucking oh god i can't i can't do it i can't do it anymore

Well, if you hate pop and you hate chips, then you are not a random evil guy. I love the chips and the pop and yeah.

okay um i'm not good at this i'm not good at this at all but uh i i hold on let me sorry about that um i'm not good at it i had it um but i can try um um okay this is gonna be really bad for my throat um let's see i am the random evil guy i love the chips in the book okay no i'm done i'm done no this is not good

Fuck you, I got brain damage from hearing that shit. And I'm suing...

Okay, I guess I'll try. Hello! I am the random evil guy. I don't know what else to say next. Okay, that's it. I give up. Sorry, Jim.

No worries, at least it was better than some people's affairs. I mean, it did sound like you were constipated for half of it, but that's still pretty... not bad.

Well, thank you, I'm glad for that, uh, I'm glad I, I'm glad I tried my best.

I'll give you an offer you can't refuse Either you do what I want Or I shoot you in the fucking head What do you mean you say no? Listen Either your signature will be on this Or it will be your brains Pick which one you want Thank you You chose correctly

Wow, Faramay, that was pretty good. I don't think I could ever do that. Holy cow.